Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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