Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
