D3 body, D1 cock
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
