you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
