Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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