you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
and she was petting her beer can
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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