were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
