Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you never un-have a 4some
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
