you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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