i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
