Umm I'm too high to move.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
