I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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