hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
