I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
