I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
