if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
