Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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