I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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