HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
