was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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