It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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