I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
