You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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