i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
