PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
