"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
