4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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