So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
