We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
