I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
