Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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