i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
