i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
