One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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