I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
These tits shall not be calmed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
