Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
