I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
