LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
