Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
