So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
