Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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