Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
high people should be assigned attendants
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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