maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
