It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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