i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
