Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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