I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think my vagina is haunted
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
