So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
