"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
