honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
