Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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