I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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