Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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