did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
